Monday, February 29, 2016

Bitch I'm back.

I don't know if it's okay to steal the Queen's lyrics or not. If it is, please Beyoncé, sue me and meanwhile we can have a chat about the fact that veganism is more than just tight abs. But ever since the Formation song hit the world wide web, the title of this blogpost has been stuck in my head and it just seemed to be the perfect opening line for my reappearance after a month of absence. Because, yes I am back. Yes, I have neglected this blog and yes I have left you all in the dark about my whereabouts and the state of mind I was in.

I had to take a break, I just had to. And no, I'm not apologising in any way for that. You know, when you reach that tipping point where you feel like if you don't handle your situation you're literally going to explode and pour your emotions all over the place? If you don't, I do hope for you wellbeing that you never reach it. Because I have and boy, I was bound to crash. Hard. Face first. Would've been ugly. But I hit the breaks just in time and decided that what I needed, really needed, was some good old time alone. Alone alone. I took some time off, not only from the social media, but from social life itself. I retreated into reading, coffee drinking, wandering through Berlin and not having anyone over for a while. I sought out help to clear my mind, to handle my thoughts and to get some structure into this chaotic head of mine. I'm a very pessimistic person even though you wouldn't add this to my list of characteristics if you met me. I see things in black and white. I overthink. I always see the worst in situations. I believe no one ever has good intentions. I believe I'm bound to fail at some point. And when people feed those emotions and thoughts by giving you the hardest of times, nothing good is going to come of it. I'm still struggling and still trying to figure out what works best for me. But, I do feel like I could make it. Like I could be this version of me I want people to see when they look at me.

I've been thinking about what to do with this blog as well. I started this adventure to inform you, my dearest readers, on my journey towards going full on vegan. Well, I've reached that point where I annoy the shit out of people because I do care for E-numbers. So in terms of vegan goals, I think I've reached the highest level. However, I still feel like I need a place to write down my thoughts, a place where I can share my story. And while my blog will always be a vegan lifestyle blog, I feel like it's time to open up myself a bit and talk a bit more about my personal life. For you, my dearest readers, not much will be changing. For me however, just by writing this down, a burden had been lifted off my shoulders. I need to focus more on what I want to do and less on what people expect me to do. It feels good to tell you this and I do hope you'll continue to follow me on my crazy adventures and read all my stories with just the same amount of joy like you always have.

With love,
Elien

2 comments:

  1. Welkom terug! En yay voor meer persoonlijke blogposts! Ik heb daar een hele tijd geleden ook mijn hoofd over gebroken, en uiteindelijk deed ik het. Best decision éver!

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  2. Pff, heavy shit! Maar blij dat je je al wat beter voelt, en dat je het gevoel hebt dat je dit kan delen met ons. Kijk al uit naar je komende posts! You go, girl!

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